eliana

Search for a member

eliana

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2075
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

eliana's page activity

Visits<b>Furcorn_57</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:18pm<b>ForbiddenDestiny</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 4:52am<b>rainbow_dash13</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 7:47pm<b>avealoe</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Fireashes250</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 7:05pm<b>lolakitty</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 5:39pm<b>kaitlynjane</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 5:23pm<b>sharonkm</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 7:23pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 7:57pm<b>LdyJstc</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 9:51am<b>ethanbin</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 2:59am<b>jeweleecortez</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 12:47pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:53pm<b>ha</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 6:31pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 5:16pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 8:50am

eliana's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eliana's favorite FMLs

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

by SoniaLovesYou / 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

by dundundadumb / 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

by Michael / 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my grandma gave me a gift (something she has never done before). I was so excited until I found out it was one of her overdue library books on dolphins. I feel so loved. FML

by hawtpinkpanties / 05/04/2009 at 8:35am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change? Being a good man i said "sure." I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. As I walk into starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the casheir my fifty dollar bill, she called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML

by supermanj76 / 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

by Gjkashldf / 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

by Gjkashldf / 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

by htothecr / 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

by jlover42 / 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health