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elhan8

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elhan8
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 41
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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elhan8's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46749) - you deserved it (9263)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12009) - you deserved it (44779)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (1900)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (36826)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15163) - you deserved it (2403)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (2069)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8525) - you deserved it (61656)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you deserved it (22972)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39464) - you deserved it (2782)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

#4127495
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (35871)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (54056)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101321) - you deserved it (6284)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65921) - you deserved it (163254)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)



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