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elfuin

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elfuin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1253
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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elfuin's page activity

Visits<b>bas504</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:36pm<b>DeadPixel4</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 6:37am<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:43pm

elfuin's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elfuin's favorite FMLs

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (3322)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML

#18004250
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43867) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/17/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by pokeballbra - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52412) - you deserved it (3499)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43410) - you deserved it (14499)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33608) - you deserved it (7089)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (6210)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you deserved it (75528) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my family got together to read my grandpa's will. He gave all of his grandkids $400 each. Except me. It seems he thought I'd see the funny side in being bequeathed a blow-up sex doll. FML

#17027029
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (4634)

On 07/08/2011 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36007) - you deserved it (4347)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

#17015904
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62409) - you deserved it (4974)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by lizownsvirgy - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33713) - you deserved it (3606)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41115) - you deserved it (4081)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44300) - you deserved it (4645)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (4843)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31385) - you deserved it (3510)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)



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