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elfdavis's favorite FMLs
by JustAnotherFML23 / 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm / United States / Health
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- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room… Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis…