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elfcat
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elfcat's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33703) - you deserved it (4748)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (33448)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (9570)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36921) - you deserved it (9377)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (4546)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (3236)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41908) - you deserved it (3696)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37507) - you deserved it (9933)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (37939)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32894) - you deserved it (11387)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML

#21071350
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm - work - by cunting cuntface of a boss (man) - Australia

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (44716)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35629) - you deserved it (5944)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
169 comments


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