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elfcat

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elfcat

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  • Number of visits : 714
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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elfcat's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of elfcat's badges

elfcat's favorite FMLs

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
91 comments

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (1713)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (6294)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (11228)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (3733)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, I was informed that my uneven facial features make me seem "untrustworthy." Glad to know my unchangeable physical appearance doubles as a character flaw. FML

#21317152
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2226)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:56am - misc - by lopsided (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (3028)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17035) - you deserved it (30737)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

#21275907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (2536)

On 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm - animals - by MrG - United States

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (5015)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248) - you deserved it (11163)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46306) - you deserved it (2501)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50587) - you deserved it (2485)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (9507)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)



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  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

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