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elfcat

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elfcat

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elfcat's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44382) - you deserved it (2477)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48277) - you deserved it (2453)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (9436)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41888) - you deserved it (2511)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34855) - you deserved it (3208)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35151) - you deserved it (5621)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my car got towed. My money is in my car and they won't let me open my car to get money until my car is "released". FML

#21238660
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38691) - you deserved it (4434)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:30am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40037) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35104) - you deserved it (11488)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42349) - you deserved it (6823)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50725) - you deserved it (3643)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43671) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)



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