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elessar_1501

Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 7:12am) | Search for a member

elessar_1501

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 335
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About elessar_1501 : Texas. HS. 17. Music and friends are my life. Rock 'n roll. \m/. Single

elessar_1501's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Marine6297</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 1:39pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:52am<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 8:39am<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 5:45am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:11pm<b>plunderjarod</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:53am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:47am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:38am<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:15pm<b>girl_on_a_misson</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:30pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:11am<b>ellenjasmin</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 2:52am

elessar_1501's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of elessar_1501's badges

elessar_1501's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35308) - you deserved it (5001)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38802) - you deserved it (23983)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (44954)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46757) - you deserved it (5514)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49132) - you deserved it (19389)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

#21222298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (7023)

On 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm - love - by notgoth (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51982) - you deserved it (5984)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (3619)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40995) - you deserved it (4036)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (42108)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49993) - you deserved it (8391)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46161) - you deserved it (22787)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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