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elephantsarecute

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elephantsarecute

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1917
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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elephantsarecute's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

#458793
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10212) - you deserved it (91268)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (290274)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63369) - you deserved it (21366)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML

#278452
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (101014)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24252) - you deserved it (75626)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

#204455
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (13843)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17018) - you deserved it (44350)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (7017)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46160) - you deserved it (6238)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10343) - you deserved it (121252)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (37434)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8634) - you deserved it (28854)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6453) - you deserved it (57899)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88415) - you deserved it (40331)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 (woman) - France



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