elenavandy

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elenavandy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 42
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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elenavandy's page activity

Visits<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 2:20am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:26am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm<b>LoveiLife</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 12:38pm<b>ayazdgrade</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 10:50pm

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elenavandy's favorite FMLs

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" / 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Love

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

by lawman / 08/15/2013 at 9:34am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm / United States / Work

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

by What. / 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

by -_____- / 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

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