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Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33792) - you deserved it (3263)
On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (7542)
On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36110) - you deserved it (2896)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I got into an argument with my wife. We had gotten our son an Xbox and two games for his birthday. Since he was ungratefully bitching about it, I made him return it and donate the money to charity. He told her that I hit him, took his present and pawned it for beer. She doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33999) - you deserved it (2997)
On 01/30/2013 at 6:23pm - kids - by XboxDad (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17613) - you deserved it (1294)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29253) - you deserved it (1571)
On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36437) - you deserved it (3149)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20728) - you deserved it (7097)
Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11623) - you deserved it (3284)
On 01/05/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by musicalducky (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12224) - you deserved it (32643)
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4396) - you deserved it (19579)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10689) - you deserved it (3359)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States
Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (4080)
On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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