elemenopyqrstuv

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elemenopyqrstuv

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 July 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20153
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elemenopyqrstuv : I'm 22 and live in Vermont. I am a police officer. You're jealous.

elemenopyqrstuv's page activity

Visits<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:09pm<b>xmelissaaax0x</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 11:59am<b>avexar</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 3:46pm<b>jmud</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 9:06pm<b>bollywood_rocks</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:32pm<b>EatATree</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 2:14am<b>morenap</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 11:46pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 11:15pm<b>Bob999</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 6:32pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 3:41pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:27am<b>Bapes</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 6:44pm<b>rarelight</b> - the 04/16/2009 at 4:54pm<b>google</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 2:41am<b>Lalaladida</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 1:47am<b>so_me</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 11:12pm<b>faune</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 4:25pm<b>redlove</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 4:27pm

elemenopyqrstuv's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elemenopyqrstuv's favorite FMLs

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

by DanceOnTheEdge / 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

by xobeachbabi428ox / 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

by nsJ / 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML

by FriendsSuck / 07/06/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 1:59am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML

by Jake / 07/01/2009 at 8:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

by NotSoYoung / 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm / Japan (Okinawa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love