I'm 22 and live in Vermont. I am a police officer. You're jealous.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35074) - you totally deserved it (4187)
On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30300) - you totally deserved it (11531)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a 3 hour plane ride. An elderly man was sitting next to me and before the flight took off, he fell asleep on my shoulder. I decided to be kind and let him sleep. When the flight was about to land, I tried to wake him up. He wouldn't. He died on my shoulder. FML
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On 07/19/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
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On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my five-year-old came home from summer camp crying because her friends and counselors had all laughed at her when she couldn't identify colors correctly during a game. My husband then confessed that he had taught her colors wrong because he thought it would be funny. FML
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On 07/16/2009 at 1:50pm - kids - by KWidget (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML
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On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I receved a parking ticket for $150 from my husband who is a police officer and who aparently can't remember licence plate numbers. FML
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On 07/11/2009 at 3:22pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in charge of throwing a party for my mom. I told my little brother he was suppose to blow up the balloons which were in my dresser. Apparently, he accidentally found all my condoms, unknowingly, and decorated the house in prophylactics instead of balloons. Happy Birthday, Mom. FML
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On 07/07/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Ryan (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you totally deserved it (2516)
On 07/06/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by FriendsSuck (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithfull to. A random girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML
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On 07/05/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you totally deserved it (3648)
On 07/01/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Jake (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you totally deserved it (8113)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by embarrassed4life (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3963) - you totally deserved it (55814)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML
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On 06/17/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML
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On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
