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electric_waffle's FML badges
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electric_waffle's favorite FMLs
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 10:05am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
by JohnyP / 07/09/2011 at 3:04am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by CheeseMonsters / 01/24/2010 at 7:28am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals
by life_sucks / 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals
Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML
by HungryGirl / 10/24/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…