elastisch

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elastisch

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 October 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11053
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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elastisch's page activity

Visits<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:24pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:14pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Awahso</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:04pm<b>Participation</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:52pm<b>Zharroth</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:38pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:27am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Wideout40</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:24am<b>Randen_FML95</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 8:51pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:24pm<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:41pm<b>empsparks02</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:08pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:45am<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:42am

Fucked!<b>Eivana</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:25am

elastisch's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elastisch's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

by someonevexed / 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

by why... / 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

by theguy24 / 01/27/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

by theamericandream / 01/25/2009 at 8:07am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

by Noname / 01/19/2009 at 5:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

by Ohai / 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

by Explicit / 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML

by lopez / 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm / Work

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

by Butterfly / 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm / Love