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elastisch

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elastisch
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 10864
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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elastisch's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

#4745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29317) - you deserved it (8467)

On 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm - love - by someonevexed - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (7259)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (65975)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25641) - you deserved it (8378)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20206) - you deserved it (2349)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (20276)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

#465
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16887) - you deserved it (1681)

On 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by Butterfly - Sent from mobile version



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