elastisch

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elastisch

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 October 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11107
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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elastisch's page activity

Visits<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 11:51pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:42pm<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 12:24pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:14pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Awahso</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:04pm<b>Participation</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:52pm<b>Zharroth</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:38pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:27am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Wideout40</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 4:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:24am<b>Randen_FML95</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 8:51pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 5:24pm<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:41pm<b>empsparks02</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:08pm

Fucked!<b>Eivana</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:25am

elastisch's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

elastisch's favorite FMLs

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

by noyodel / 07/04/2009 at 12:04am / Italy / Transportation

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

by loli-conned / 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

by girlfriday / 06/11/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

by MoneyMike / 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

by Mulee / 03/07/2009 at 7:03am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

by saddude / 03/04/2009 at 2:03am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

by Sad / 03/01/2009 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

by Sad / 03/01/2009 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

by a268 / 02/02/2009 at 4:29am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Love