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ekdfml

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ekdfml

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 26 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6237
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About ekdfml : Clutzy college student

ekdfml's page activity

Visits<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 1:45pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:38am<b>sevennfam</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:46am<b>mariannezr</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 9:18pm<b>DaiCarmuhh</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 5:25pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:05am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:06pm<b>ljkanon</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:55pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 5:33pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 1:37pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 12:41pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 11:19am<b>mmahone9</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:54am<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:04am<b>Steve97</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:37am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:21am<b>AsianxChris</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:18am

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ekdfml's favorite FMLs

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (5739)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (3639)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

#21342840
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Ineedlotsofwater (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36169) - you deserved it (2272)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (3472)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24396) - you deserved it (8212)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (4389)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (3389)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (6221)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (6348)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

#21340022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (3610)

On 01/19/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by momac86 - United States

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

#21339798
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (2185)

On 01/18/2015 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36821) - you deserved it (3261)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

#21339665
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25384) - you deserved it (7908)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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