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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38482) - you deserved it (7685)
On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (707)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49209) - you deserved it (3595)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72545) - you deserved it (10076)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97074) - you deserved it (56274)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10345) - you deserved it (38643)
On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15130) - you deserved it (32258)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:45am - love - by Ryan746 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61650) - you deserved it (6442)
On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73158) - you deserved it (15319)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59555) - you deserved it (5646)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11273) - you deserved it (65390)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (50451)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:32am - intimacy - by levit (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (49253)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I moved out of my apartment and thought it would be nice to leave the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom for the next tenant. I later got a notice from the management that I was being charged $50 for leaving behind "personal items." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48334) - you deserved it (5434)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:59am - money - by alynn (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41479) - you deserved it (7696)
On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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