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ejkst19

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ejkst19

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  • Number of visits : 249
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ejkst19's page activity

Visits<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:22am<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Jag_v</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 8:52pm<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:38am<b>redblueflame</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 10:49am<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 4:09pm

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ejkst19's favorite FMLs

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36544) - you deserved it (11238)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (15952)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44280) - you deserved it (6636)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57222) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

#20774058
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57884) - you deserved it (5236)

On 07/10/2013 at 10:18am - love - by Paige (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (8079)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (9421)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11965) - you deserved it (28142)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33463) - you deserved it (5426)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (8735)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (18868)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (10583)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (9685)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)



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