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ejkst19

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ejkst19

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 603
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:22am<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Jag_v</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 8:52pm<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:38am<b>redblueflame</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 10:49am<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 4:09pm

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ejkst19's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (1511)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML

#21520025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (4332)

On 01/27/2016 at 10:35am - misc - by 404: Sanity Not Found (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

#21519039
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (3880)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

#21518334
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (2448)

On 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (3618)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

#21512451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/07/2016 at 7:00am - intimacy - by anne (woman) - Germany

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

#21505056
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19501) - you deserved it (6713)

On 12/18/2015 at 3:33am - misc - by Zyopy (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

#21502182
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (2297)

On 12/10/2015 at 8:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

#21496534
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/25/2015 at 1:00am - kids - by coolest_mom (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

#21475579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (11675)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend told me that once you love somebody you can never truly fall "out of love" with them. She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about her ex. FML

#21435838
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (2013)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:52am - love - by worriedman - United States (Illinois)

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML

#21433102
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (2442)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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