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ejkst19

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ejkst19

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  • Number of visits : 407
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ejkst19's page activity

Visits<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:22am<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Jag_v</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 8:52pm<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:38am<b>redblueflame</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 10:49am<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 4:09pm

ejkst19's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ejkst19's favorite FMLs

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (7840)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (3463)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29662) - you deserved it (13089)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42891) - you deserved it (3036)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38080) - you deserved it (12053)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (16171)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44377) - you deserved it (6647)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57392) - you deserved it (6801)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML

#20774058
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58042) - you deserved it (5244)

On 07/10/2013 at 10:18am - love - by Paige (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32246) - you deserved it (8092)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24360) - you deserved it (9515)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13250) - you deserved it (30193)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (5601)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (8747)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved



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