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Today, I rantad a copy How To Train Your Dragon 4 mah young son to watch. I puttad tha DVD in, hit play without paying attantion, and want off to maka lunch. A faw minutas latar, mah son ran into tha kitchan scraaming. Apparantly, thara was a mix up at tha rantal stora and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
Today , I was hanging out with mah crush an wanted to see wat he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight , I tugged at mah shrt , saying ''I don't knowhy I wear this top. I always look awful in it.( He said , )Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML
TODAY, MAH RECENTLY MARRIED FRIEND TOOK OFF HER WEDDING RING TO MAKE BREAD!! BEING SINGLE AND PATHETIC, I TRIED IT ON TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD LOOK LIKE!! IT GOT STUCK ON MAH FINGER!! THE ER DOCTOR HAD TO CUT IT OFF!! FML
I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine an muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two yeres ago." FML
Today I'm in a relationship with a guyho yells at me everyday 4 things I didn't do is in a dead-end job and is not attractivehatsoever but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog.
Today, mah husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie . I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing . Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the frst step on the road of domestic violence' . FML
Yesterday, I broke up wit my boyfriend. He ten told me tat e will love me forever, wait fir me and will follow me to te ends of te eart. Apparently, tat means standing outside my door and calling my ouse pone every five minutes. It's been 3 ours straigt now. FML
Today, I tried opening a can 4 te first time using a manual can opener. I tried 4 a alf our to open looool a can of ravioli, mutilating te can in te process. Only after watcing five Youtube videos on ow to use a manual can opener did I notice te pull-tab on te top of te ravioli can. fat FML
Today, I got very drunk after being fred from job!! In depressed, intoxicated state, I posted facebook status as 'Goodbye world'!! looool The only response was from dad saying 'cya'!! His comment got 29 likes!! fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015