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Picture this FML
You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. The girl I met last night came in and said "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9642) - you deserved it (119754)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82517) - you deserved it (7029)
On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (85917)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45840) - you deserved it (81867)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (35685)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (68981) - you deserved it (20085)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8469) - you deserved it (32215)
On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (526782) - you deserved it (37881)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7152) - you deserved it (14862)
On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50179) - you deserved it (6941)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10094) - you deserved it (51135)
On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11730) - you deserved it (54924)
On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12742) - you deserved it (96170)
On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version
Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41385) - you deserved it (26802)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:31am - intimacy - by rmL -
Monday 20 May 2013
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