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Mobility
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Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18564) - you deserved it (5207)
On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (1522)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (1759)
On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (4152)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (8922)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45681) - you deserved it (3433)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by charma (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (31726)
On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, the fire department chief stopped me as I was walking home from school and asked me where the fire was. When I looked at him blankly, he said I had been waving my hands around like an idiot. I then had to explain that I had been dancing to a song on my ipod. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12335) - you deserved it (34926)
On 04/28/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Moe (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10610) - you deserved it (47564)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8874) - you deserved it (88979)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6131) - you deserved it (36538)
On 01/23/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by sadgirl - United States (Virginia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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