Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

efettes

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 10:16pm) | Search for a member

efettes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2944
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About efettes : Umm well I really don't know what to say... I've been a fan of the site forever and finally got an account :) message me and I will get back to you as soon as I see it :) (which may or may not be a couple days or even a week or two...)

efettes's page activity

Visits<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:32am<b>tsent8</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:27pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:23am<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:11am<b>y007346</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:39am<b>PhoenixRiver</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:51pm<b>T_Myles13</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:08pm<b>KickItHigh</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:46am<b>nightwings</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Daisyflower89</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:17am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:37am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:17am<b>an3ph</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:12am<b>dancingkeyboard</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:49pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:00am<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:06pm

efettes's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of efettes's badges

efettes's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39986) - you deserved it (3231)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3322)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50660) - you deserved it (6634)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

#21170120
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40074) - you deserved it (17479)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46720) - you deserved it (5189)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

#21136683
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (4895)

On 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm - love - by not gay in AL (man) - United States

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52031) - you deserved it (19030)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
107 comments

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39992) - you deserved it (5175)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38417) - you deserved it (10059)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (19487)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48017) - you deserved it (9559)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49697) - you deserved it (6065)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: