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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33569) - you deserved it (3918)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4934) - you deserved it (23580)
On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (20121)
On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8302) - you deserved it (36357)
On 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm - health - by Sickie. (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12500) - you deserved it (49189)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8783) - you deserved it (48687)
On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (2422)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11222) - you deserved it (3845)
On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (3391)
On 02/19/2010 at 3:18pm - love - by wtfuraretard (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14639) - you deserved it (12065)
On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17387) - you deserved it (9060)
On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I am meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In so doing, I accidentally touched the iron to my neck, and now I have a burn there that closely resembles a hickey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:28pm - love - by Minabee (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17466) - you deserved it (4084)
On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in ballet class, I was really focusing and actually trying to work hard. I was really getting into the choreography. I was travelling big and leaping long. While going across the floor, again I travelled and leaped... right into the ballet bars and fell over, in front of 35 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (3842)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:04pm - misc - by dancer4life (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (1974)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)
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