Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

edneddy84

Search for a member

edneddy84
  • Town/Country : Orlando, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 April 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 6771
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

edneddy84's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

edneddy84's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74547) - you deserved it (5747)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drank 1.5 litres of water. I didn't go to the bathroom for 9 hours. During my one hour trek home on public transport, I was busting to pee but I managed to hold it. Walking 200m from my bus stop to my house was agony, but I still held it. When I got to my front door I peed my pants. FML

#4677149
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (38720)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:02am - misc - by anon9876542 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (73126)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7750) - you deserved it (55350)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML

#4661982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55593) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML

#4654835
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (4326)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML

#4650437
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40560) - you deserved it (3096)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:08am - love - by catguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (48274)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52050) - you deserved it (4679)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60060) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50784) - you deserved it (4211)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54819) - you deserved it (10823)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107732) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML

#4624191
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (14822)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: