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edneddy84

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edneddy84

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 April 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8614
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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edneddy84's favorite FMLs

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (19451)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML

#4854572
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (51370)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by p-man - United States

Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML

#4847720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42928) - you deserved it (7624)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by nofriends (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

#4840344
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76974) - you deserved it (3370)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

#4837442
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47722) - you deserved it (4100)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

#4830976
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52954) - you deserved it (10038)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

#4827705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63152) - you deserved it (3522)

On 08/26/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

#4823053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48548) - you deserved it (5931)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51900) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

#4819197
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45039) - you deserved it (9640)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

#4809359
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65387) - you deserved it (9538)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22726) - you deserved it (29989)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML

#4805329
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55393) - you deserved it (9933)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

#4803979
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (3951)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38220) - you deserved it (2458)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)



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