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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (1986)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (1669)
On 10/11/2009 at 12:16pm - animals - by traumatised (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (4298)
On 10/10/2009 at 5:53pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (9187)
On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (6348)
On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (2203)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31253) - you deserved it (1938)
On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (13743)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (2197)
On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (62289) - you deserved it (2800)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61317) - you deserved it (3345)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should to relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (7426)
On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16483) - you deserved it (72721)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54543) - you deserved it (3023)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (3036)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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