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ed311

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

ed311

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 January 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3542
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ed311 : Hi. I'm Ed. I live in England. That's it, really

ed311's page activity

Visits<b>Treyzania</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:59pm<b>aliyourpally</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:22pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:27am

ed311's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of ed311's badges

ed311's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (4695)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (48481)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34777) - you deserved it (6244)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28507) - you deserved it (3482)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

#21266215
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/27/2014 at 4:16am - love - by nyx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37072) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

#21265006
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (2766)

On 09/25/2014 at 7:19am - misc - by hylianprincess (woman) - United States

Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML

#21264505
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33112) - you deserved it (2138)

On 09/24/2014 at 1:17pm - work - by AdriftInTheSeaOfPaperwork (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232) - you deserved it (2667)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

#21263926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (2846)

On 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm - work - by disconnected (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35432) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (2886)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (2562)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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