ecce

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ecce

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2472
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ecce : Eyeliner and cigarettes.

ecce's page activity

Visits<b>zr11990</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:11am<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 4:38pm<b>Stranger32</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 3:55am<b>Sonder</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 1:28am<b>neel1978</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 12:06am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:35pm<b>sapperdoodle72</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:00pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 3:17pm<b>that_one_guy423</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:05pm<b>fhksuaifk</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 1:08pm<b>MrConfusion</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 1:00pm<b>prballer57</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 11:00am<b>goman693</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 10:39am<b>lonelyincrowd</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 9:44am<b>Mons</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 9:22am<b>ombrown</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 7:28am<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 6:00am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 5:13am

Fucked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:35am

ecce's FML badges

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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ecce's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

by leastitwasntsurpriseanal / 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous