Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eastside1313

Search for a member

eastside1313

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 June 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About eastside1313 : Yes, that actually is me in my profile picture.... But I am a love able person and like to play lacrosse and hockey.... Ahh that's about it I'll update more later

eastside1313's page activity

Visits<b>mathen</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:55pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:11am<b>Jhordell</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:14am<b>Dipmunch</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 4:16am<b>SundayNightSix</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:59pm<b>ladyfingers</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 9:48am<b>CaptainFoxbutt</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:29am<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 10:59pm<b>rob02</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 6:55pm<b>evanicanseeher</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:34am<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 1:27pm<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 8:29pm<b>MysteryManPerson</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 12:37am<b>BFons</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 4:34pm<b>chelene</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:15pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 12:27pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 8:12pm

eastside1313's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of eastside1313's badges

eastside1313's favorite FMLs

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

#20172167
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8862) - you deserved it (66856)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30341) - you deserved it (2384)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14576) - you deserved it (33946)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

#18008863
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6810) - you deserved it (47903)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38209) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (11604)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46686) - you deserved it (4860)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss became very angry over her own mistake on a spreadsheet. She lashed out by throwing a can of SpaghettiOs at my head. FML

#17434039
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27524) - you deserved it (2226)

On 08/10/2011 at 10:21pm - work - by Liz - United States

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (2627)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60963) - you deserved it (4748)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39094) - you deserved it (6357)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (9769)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (9769)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12166) - you deserved it (49433)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: