About dylanger16 : Im awesome.
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dylanger16's favorite FMLs
Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The) / Animals
Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML
by farksh / 03/07/2015 at 7:14am / Australia / Animals
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Health
by KO / 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm / United States / Intimacy
by ch4nny / 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work
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