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Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you totally deserved it (2048) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you totally deserved it (5412)
On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40891) - you totally deserved it (1555)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28945) - you totally deserved it (4019)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you totally deserved it (6353)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57166) - you totally deserved it (2394)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
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