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dwyoung's FML badges
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
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dwyoung's favorite FMLs
by Anna / 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by GamerTag / 10/02/2012 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
by Jake / 10/02/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML
by halitosis / 10/01/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Health
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
by whatswrongwithit?:( / 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Shortround / 09/30/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 2:29am / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by carine13 / 09/29/2012 at 11:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by kfenton / 09/29/2012 at 7:16am / United States / Love
Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML
by bluefrisky / 09/29/2012 at 3:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than… Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged… Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns,…