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dwyoung's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
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It’s in the can
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dwyoung's favorite FMLs
by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
by Dave / 10/04/2012 at 10:44am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
by lonerboner / 10/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML
by WaitedOut / 10/03/2012 at 4:07am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:25am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML
by Sara / 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by praise the prenup / 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
by ... / 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by dagreatpumpkin / 10/02/2012 at 2:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML
by friendlessatwork / 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…