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dwyoung's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
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dwyoung's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
by cumguzzler / 03/06/2009 at 11:14am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML
by failout / 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
by ubbernoob / 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
by Shell / 03/05/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by you would / 03/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
by jsw029 / 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML
by xoothc08 / 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML
by secret123 / 02/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonn / 02/23/2009 at 8:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
by jeezy / 02/23/2009 at 5:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by niabby / 02/20/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog…
- Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…