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dwyoung's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
dwyoung's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by disgusted / 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm / United States / Love
Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML
by NoMoney4Me / 09/24/2012 at 6:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Hello Nurse / 09/24/2012 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous
Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML
by creepedasfuck / 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML
by whatisthisidonteven / 09/23/2012 at 5:23am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Work
by Hairless freak / 09/23/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 12:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by IHateMyLife / 09/22/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML
by for_fs_sake / 09/21/2012 at 6:56am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids
- Today, I finally finished the short story that is my last assignment of high school! I also found a… Today,me and my little brother were walking back from school. He tripped and started crying. As I… Today, I went on vacation with my family. It wasn't until I had gotten back home that I found out I…