dweeds508

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Offline (the 02/07/2016 at 4:31am)

dweeds508

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2113
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About dweeds508 : I like reading FML's and commenting on stuff.

dweeds508's page activity

Visits<b>thousepart2</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 11:12pm<b>charityrose3</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:12am<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 1:30pm<b>ENeutrino</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:35pm<b>monkeyman3837</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:31pm<b>babyjay512</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:34pm<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:44pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:22pm<b>3051628</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 4:22pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:43pm<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:20pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:02pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:01pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:16am<b>rendezvoodoo666</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:13pm<b>madi113</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 8:52am<b>kirby1964</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:09am

Fucked!<b>ArturoJames</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:24am

dweeds508's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of dweeds508's badges

dweeds508's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

by blovesg / 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous