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duztx

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duztx
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  • Number of visits : 270
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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duztx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (7526)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37190) - you deserved it (3174)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML

#2189119
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (50161)

On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

#620821
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102818) - you deserved it (6492)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013
773 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53144) - you deserved it (417344)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55729) - you deserved it (24211)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)



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