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dunittwice

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dunittwice

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 582
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dunittwice's page activity

Visits<b>zango1</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 8:42pm

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dunittwice's favorite FMLs

Today , I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger andhispering sweet promises to it . FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (3329)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband an I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like u wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up an saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52434) - you deserved it (6856)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today a customer told me "Girls yur size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35057) - you deserved it (5141)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I searched up ways to fix mah eyebrows since they were so bushy an thick. I took mah tweezers an set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street an another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Yesterday... mah wife got all excitedhen she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heret to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47113) - you deserved it (6128)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stoppd by the drive-through fir something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opend the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42631) - you deserved it (10314)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work !! I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall !! I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I hered someone enter from behind me !! FML

#21123743
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40168) - you deserved it (6737)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TODAY, I SAW A CUTE GUY AN DECIDED TO SAY HI . AS I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT THINGS TO TALK ABOUT, ONE STORY IN PARTICULAR ABOUT A DRUMMER WHO LOOKED LIKE JESUS STUCK OUT IN MY MIND . I WAS SO NERVOUS THAT INSTEAD OF SAYING HI, I BLURTED OUT, "SOME PEOPLE LOOK LIKE JESUS!" AN TOOK OFF . FML

yesterday after living in mah apartment 4 nerely a year... I hered mah nieghbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of mah bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, I found out tat my fater faked isole ( mid-life crisis ), just so e could gain my trust and get me to admit tat I smoke weed, and to tell imo I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (38653)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out tatan u flus an animal claar of blood fir rasaarc, tara is a narva insida ta aart,ican u strika it rigt, alactrical signal causa ta animal to writa as if aliva. Now, boss knows about faar of zombias, and I'm now tarrifiad of alf job. FML

#20953149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37395) - you deserved it (4876)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realizd I forgot to submit the assignment and missd the deadline. I now have to tell mah group that we automatically faild. FML

Today... I Met My Birth Mother. My Dad Won't Talk To Me... My Mom Won't Stop Crying An Think I'm Replacing Her... An The Rest Of My Family Won't Stop Calling Me A Bitch. I'm 21... An I Just Wantd To Meet The Woman Who Pushd Me Head-first Out Of Her Vagina. FML

Today , fir the first time in mah life looool , I simultaneously sneezed , peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at workhen this happened. mega FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52293) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

TODAY.. . MY 16-YEAR-OLD BROTHER MANAGED TO CONVINCE MY 22-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND THAT I BREASTFEED MY PET PARROT . FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49633) - you deserved it (5052)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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