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dunicha's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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dunicha's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm / United States / Health
Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML
by lady parts / 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML
by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML
by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals
by disgusted / 09/25/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love