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dunicha's FML badges
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dunicha's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by boo / 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by TonyTalkingClock / 11/04/2014 at 7:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm / United States / Health
Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML
by lady parts / 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids
by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today I got a question from a guest at work. I work as a scenic tour pilot and our airplanes have a…