Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dunicha

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

dunicha

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3792
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dunicha's page activity

Visits<b>nickjt30</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 5:42pm<b>nate025</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:14am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:45am<b>adyb</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:12am<b>SaidinRage</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:42pm<b>supercatspikes</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 3:54pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 9:51am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 7:00pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 9:09pm<b>Crazynopantsman</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 10:13pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 02/01/2011 at 2:38pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 01/26/2011 at 8:31pm

dunicha's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of dunicha's badges

dunicha's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36191) - you deserved it (8709)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (10334)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (4592)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56207) - you deserved it (5994)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (8572)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43014) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (12918)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55825) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (6513)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (18606)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: