Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dunicha

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

dunicha

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 May 1981 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11105
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dunicha's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:02am<b>that_average_guy</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:36am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 12:05am<b>KineticBrute</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:01am<b>HerobrineSks</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 9:15pm<b>sact</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:02am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:40pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:44pm<b>JoshWade62</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:40pm<b>sevenwondersx</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:24pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:26pm<b>alycat981</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:45am<b>mdearmon10</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:17am<b>SkyGuy32</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:46am<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:11am<b>hsholar</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:53pm<b>amandasoushek</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:46am<b>Tsula1994</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:26pm

Fucked!<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:39am<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:00am

dunicha's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of dunicha's badges

dunicha's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

#2562332
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53973) - you deserved it (19575)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by Kyokushin (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (50142)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

#2473573
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45015) - you deserved it (14038)

On 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (79238)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

#2397124
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (51629)

On 05/29/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by ilikecake (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (66781)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

#2252019
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (57184)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

#2230053
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13564) - you deserved it (58543)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

#2228534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (46266)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

#2213271
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42820) - you deserved it (23338)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Tom_why - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

#2210993
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52086) - you deserved it (9959)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
547 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228865) - you deserved it (25214)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

#2147101
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54828) - you deserved it (24323)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ECullen (woman) - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: