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duma191

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 1:48pm) | Search for a member

duma191

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8631
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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duma191's page activity

Visits<b>happygolucky16</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:17pm<b>SoftBananas</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 4:34pm<b>SnowboarderFX</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 8:46am<b>lolalola47l</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 1:28pm<b>cmchewy</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 11:14pm<b>iamataco</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 12:39am<b>smartin123</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 5:51pm<b>cha0t1c</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:44am

duma191's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of duma191's badges

duma191's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31624) - you deserved it (4253)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34152) - you deserved it (2585)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38762) - you deserved it (3447)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (13015)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35610) - you deserved it (5274)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37727) - you deserved it (5737)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (4701)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44006) - you deserved it (4224)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (42594)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21537) - you deserved it (36850)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41200) - you deserved it (2657)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (43349)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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