About dulayole : I am the man without a name
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dulayole's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Fairy31 / 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
by inked / 02/05/2012 at 12:54am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by suckstobefat / 01/22/2012 at 1:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 12/15/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
by scribbles1475 / 12/15/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
by ailat0107 / 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me… Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he… Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father…
- Today, while standing next to my work van pulling out tools for a job, a man snuck up within inches… Today, my 15 year old son told me that if school shooters were smart they would pull the fire alarm… Today, I a finally told a girl that I liked her. She responded with "Oh Okay, but I already fucked…