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duker01

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duker01

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  • Number of visits : 3375
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

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duker01's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - yesterday at 7:02pm<b>JJ_86</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 9:29pm<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 4:09pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 8:02am<b>penpal33</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 2:48am<b>Jenmic</b> - the 01/17/2012 at 1:46am

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duker01's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (15301)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (4372)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML

#9186653
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39659) - you deserved it (3416)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:48pm - love - by YouAREthefather (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (3257)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

#9158778
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (5107)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68914) - you deserved it (5921)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

#9153191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (4630)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:05am - love - by Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (5035)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45307) - you deserved it (4062)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45307) - you deserved it (4062)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40832) - you deserved it (8442)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

#9102089
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (9008)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (2990)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (4262)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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