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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dudemitch

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dudemitch
  • Town/Country : Joliet, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 July 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 16246
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dudemitch : Im mitch
i listen to adtr and i have a beard.

dudemitch's last visitors

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dudemitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

#1144667 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (65516) - you deserved it (2019)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (76514) - you deserved it (5387)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (30140) - you deserved it (70059)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (107176) - you deserved it (5599)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

#696283 (538)

I agree, your life sucks (158964) - you deserved it (14418)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (63581)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

#587218 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (69000) - you deserved it (7038)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML

#498194 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (98740)

On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)