Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ducky45

Online | Search for a member

ducky45

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 408
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ducky45's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:24am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:19am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 11:23pm<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 12:47pm<b>ActionFearo</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:51pm<b>Haduken</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 1:24pm

Fucked!<b>olpally</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 6:24am

ducky45's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of ducky45's badges

ducky45's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44501) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (4153)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (16546)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49384) - you deserved it (21317)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

#20983819
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (3026)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm - health - by :^( (woman) - Bahrain (Madinat)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (26400)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19683) - you deserved it (51604)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51406) - you deserved it (6694)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63540) - you deserved it (6257)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57507) - you deserved it (6641)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16048) - you deserved it (58895)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (2916)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: