duckman9

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duckman9

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duckman9duckman9
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 June 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3865
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About duckman9 : I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.
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Sex is like poker: If you don't have a partner you better have a really strong hand.
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Internationally Renowned Expert at life-de-suckification
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I'm in love with my bed, we're perfect for each other, but the alarm clock just doesn't seem to want us together. Jealous whore!

I dare you to message me :P

duckman9's page activity

Visits<b>leish180</b> - 37 minutes ago<b>AO2015</b> - 9 hours ago<b>DjLitterBox</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:24am<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:15pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:03am<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:58pm<b>SexyCheeksIzKool</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 8:04pm<b>thatone2066</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Tehlu</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:18pm<b>CrosFyr</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:30am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 2:13pm<b>emlizcat</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:24pm<b>jolaurr</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:32am<b>AnynymousPersons</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 8:06am<b>mfmylifesrsly</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 2:16am<b>prissysgirl16</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 9:43pm<b>katachristic</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 7:18pm<b>hoosierholla</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:48am

Fucked!<b>AO2015</b> - 3 hours ago<b>DjLitterBox</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 2:24pm<b>fmlperson8264</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:19am<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:16pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Frozen_Flames</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 4:50pm<b>thenewrockarmy</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:14am<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:21pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:09pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:00pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:03am<b>deick</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:27pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:27am<b>LiquidFantasy</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:50am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:57pm

duckman9's FML badges

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duckman9's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids