Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

duckman9

Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member

duckman9

9Fucked!

duckman9duckman9
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 June 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2578
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About duckman9 : I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.
---
Sex is like poker: If you don't have a partner you better have a really strong hand.
---
Internationally Renowned Expert at life-de-suckification
---
I'm in love with my bed, we're perfect for each other, but the alarm clock just doesn't seem to want us together. Jealous whore!

I dare you to message me :P

duckman9's page activity

Visits<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:39pm<b>mylifesucks12343</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:16pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:00pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:04pm<b>hiitisbrooke</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:20pm<b>LZ8448</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:40pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:09pm<b>demix</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Snake1105</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 4:42pm<b>thinmintgal</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:35am<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:20am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 8:13am<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:00pm<b>sazbotter</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>Makena</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:30am<b>Valiantonias</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:25pm<b>biblepain</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:31am

Fucked!<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:09pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:00pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:03am<b>deick</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:27pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:27am<b>LiquidFantasy</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:50am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:57pm

duckman9's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of duckman9's badges

duckman9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93385) - you deserved it (243499)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
722 comments

I agree, your life sucks (765450) - you deserved it (62792)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
955 comments

I agree, your life sucks (384971) - you deserved it (44259)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (447074) - you deserved it (74320)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (447074) - you deserved it (74320)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
533 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267233) - you deserved it (35526)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
533 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267233) - you deserved it (35526)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: