duckman9

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Offline (the 07/03/2016 at 2:41pm)

duckman9

19Fucked!

duckman9duckman9
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 June 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4279
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About duckman9 : I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.
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Sex is like poker: If you don't have a partner you better have a really strong hand.
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Internationally Renowned Expert at life-de-suckification
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I'm in love with my bed, we're perfect for each other, but the alarm clock just doesn't seem to want us together. Jealous whore!

I dare you to message me :P

duckman9's page activity

Visits<b>galactic_FP</b> - 52 minutes ago<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:51am<b>Romanchuk</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:38am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:39am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 4:25pm<b>sazbotter</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:05am<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 11:32pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 9:16am<b>runsen</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 4:00pm<b>Tehlu</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 2:42pm<b>leish180</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 8:44am<b>AO2015</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 11:56pm<b>DjLitterBox</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 8:24am<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 12:15pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:03am<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:58pm<b>SexyCheeksIzKool</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 8:04pm<b>thatone2066</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:07pm

Fucked!<b>sazbotter</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 12:24pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 9:28pm<b>AO2015</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 5:53am<b>DjLitterBox</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 2:24pm<b>fmlperson8264</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:19am<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:16pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:51pm<b>Frozen_Flames</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 4:50pm<b>thenewrockarmy</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:14am<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:21pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:09pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:28pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:00pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:03am<b>deick</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:27pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:27am<b>LiquidFantasy</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:50am

duckman9's FML badges

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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

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duckman9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy