Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

duckman9

Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 2:57pm) | Search for a member

duckman9

6Fucked!

duckman9duckman9
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 June 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2218
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About duckman9 : I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.
---
Sex is like poker: If you don't have a partner you better have a really strong hand.
---
Internationally Renowned Expert at life-de-suckification
---
I'm in love with my bed, we're perfect for each other, but the alarm clock just doesn't seem to want us together. Jealous whore!

I dare you to message me :P

duckman9's page activity

Visits<b>Makena</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Valiantonias</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:25pm<b>biblepain</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:31am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Bavelly</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 11:03am<b>damiens123456</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:48am<b>ajeppsen</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 9:02pm<b>vptyyppi1</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:00pm<b>kkrivicky</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:49pm<b>cricket266</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm<b>jordi1226</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:48pm<b>SnailMail</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 12:17pm<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:07am<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:42am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:47pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 11:45am<b>maximusmax</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:26pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:22pm

Fucked!<b>apineapple</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:03am<b>deick</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:27pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 11:27am<b>LiquidFantasy</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:50am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:57pm

duckman9's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of duckman9's badges

duckman9's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89020) - you deserved it (234534)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
711 comments

I agree, your life sucks (744087) - you deserved it (56839)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
943 comments

I agree, your life sucks (373934) - you deserved it (42452)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (430606) - you deserved it (67877)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (430606) - you deserved it (67877)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
531 comments

I agree, your life sucks (250984) - you deserved it (32434)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
531 comments

I agree, your life sucks (250984) - you deserved it (32434)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: