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dubloq

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dubloq
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dubloq : I like snowboarding, skateboarding, and above all, hunting. No, I'm not a redneck I just like guns a lot. Im a quiet person but once I get to know you I'm a lot more outgoing, so shoot me a message and you'll see. Snapchat me: @dubloq

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dubloq's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (6076)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (4497)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53592) - you deserved it (7628)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60470) - you deserved it (5773)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34357) - you deserved it (3686)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (1551)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37383) - you deserved it (4145) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44664) - you deserved it (7277)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
129 comments

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5002) - you deserved it (16917)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)



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  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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