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  • Number of visits : 4641
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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dtbomb's page activity

Visits<b>Dilexar</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 4:21am<b>DMEN469</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 3:10pm<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:14pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:02am<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:18am<b>thesunlord</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:47pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 2:13pm<b>leJar</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 11:05pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:04pm<b>AnimanyCrazyGirl</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:12am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 3:39pm<b>Jbam1997</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 9:18pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 10:45pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:24pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 11:52pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:17pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:09am<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:27pm

Fucked!<b>Dilexar</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 10:21am<b>MlgMrPigy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:28pm<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:18am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:50pm

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It’s in the can

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dtbomb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:34am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML

by Bden / 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

by Noname / 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

by HansonLUVR / 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

by beerpong26 / 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

by Ah hell / 01/31/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

by Tinker-Bell / 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm / Intimacy