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  • Number of visits : 3873
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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dtbomb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (44993)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38487) - you deserved it (99512)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15650) - you deserved it (69241)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42450) - you deserved it (9216)

On 07/09/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by TingBarter (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50708) - you deserved it (29105)

On 06/24/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by BadBribe (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50460) - you deserved it (9438)

On 06/23/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Jerf (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37917) - you deserved it (21443)

On 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm - kids - by loli-conned (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14264) - you deserved it (76538)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67203) - you deserved it (5402)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (152235)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (70136) - you deserved it (5201)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML


I agree, your life sucks (113458) - you deserved it (8892)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (38892)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64871) - you deserved it (7316)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

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Tuesday 24 November 2015

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