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dtbomb

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  • Number of visits : 3010
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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dtbomb's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40903) - you deserved it (4014)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (20899)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

#13346165
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (31757)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Remember the parking brake - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38304) - you deserved it (10208)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20234) - you deserved it (6812)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

#8490990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (3465)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by lost_ina_dream (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (6574)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49949) - you deserved it (7890)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (29227)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (8837)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (8837)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87562) - you deserved it (14636)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164213) - you deserved it (8184)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24030) - you deserved it (4596)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States



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